Fighting for ones affection or defending a loved ones honour all sounds very noble and chivalrous. But in reality, the honeymoon period withers into a distant memory, and every pair of boxers left on the floor and strand of hair in bathtub feels like a fingernail scraping the blackboard. Etching in a tally of how many times you’ve had to take the bins out. Know what I’m talking about?
Well look no further than UK fed’s very own brand of relationship conflict resolution; medieval armoured fighting.
Tom, “Jo and I are stronger than ever after working out our differences with the help of real medieval knights. Unfortunately, I’m still on bin duties because Jo has injured her foot and is being a little bitch about it.”
Today was Tom’s first outing in armour. Following a cheeky warm-up workout – including a round of bastards (burpee with push up and star jump) – we donned the shinies.
The focus of the day was buhurt:
Buhurt is a discpline of historical medieval battle which couldn’t be farther from any kind of discipline or civility. Eight knights faced each other in two teams, and battered the living daylights out of each other until the entirety of one team was on the floor.
Whilst Tom flourished, I floundered under the strength of my opponents. Round after round, I was unceremoniously dumped, thrown and propelled into the muddy gravel.
I’m battered, I’m bruised and I’m brazenly content. The hurt creates an empowering motivation to … not get hurt (next time anyway?). Simple, but very effective.
Tom discerned from the day’s proceedings that “I am not quite ‘the mountain’, more an… undulating hill”. He was impressed by his ability to bring the fight and is motivated to up his game for glory and the UK fed.
Long into the evening, we scrambled through club kit so that I could be fitted out for next weekend’s event at Larpcon – Leicester. We will be fighting and demonstrating for the festival goers. I would love to meet you, so come along and have a look at the operation!
It’ll change your life.
My homework this week:
Shopping for WD40, Black Dye, Wire Wool.
Cleaning of kit.
Piercing holes into gambeson to fasten armour plates.
So much to do, but first a hot shower and hot broth.
Goodnight from Jo